Ambition

So today I was talking to Jesus. Just trying to get to know Him better; on a more personal level. I was chatting with Him and He asked me why I wanted to know Him more. My honest answer was because I want to be a more effective minister. Not for greater intimacy or my love for Him. Now at first I was rather upset with myself because it was such a seemingly cold answer but as I was telling my wife about it I realized that’s kind of how I am. I tend to be very practical in my affection, not so much emotional. It’s my family’s fault really. love has always been shown for me by providing or “doing” for one another. my family was never too big on emotional support and I guess it’s carried over into my relationship with God. So I asked Him if this was ok or if I was wasting my time because my heart was wrong. He reminded me about what He’s been teaching me “that He wants me to love people with the love He deserves.” So long as I am doing that I am fine.

Being the stubborn person I am that wasn’t quite enough. I kept thinking about the scripture where Paul was writing and made some reference about “running in vain” so I had to look it up. The chapter really had nothing to do with Paul being worried about himself rather he was expressing concern for the Philippians and whether or not he had wasted his time bringing the gospel to them. There is however right before that portion of scripture which talks about Christ and His equality with God and how He gave that up to become a man and a servant and in doing that God then exalted His name above every other name. This then inspired me and reminded me that every time the disciples asked Jesus who would be the greatest in the kingdom Jesus would tell them what they had to do to become the greatest. He would actually encourage their ambition. He said to be the greatest you have to be slave to all. So the way I see it... Christ is not concerned about my ambition to “do” for Him as long as I understand that the actions He values are my lifting up others above myself and seeking to serve and benefit them and loving them as I would love Him.

faith... first steps

Lord I repent for my unbelief... my lack of faith which has shown up time and again. Even when I see God working miracles right before my eyes I find that doubt can slip in. Did you know that you can have doubt even as you see a tumor melting away... it’s true. I know this because it’s happened to me... seeing is not believing. Believing is believing; and unfortunately in the Christian faith we must often believe before we are allowed to see.
At some point we must decide what we are going to believe. What will we use to decide what “truth” we will live by? Do we rely on our own knowledge apart from God or do we trust His word and the promises He has given us. Remember that He is all powerful and cannot lie. When we know what it is He has promised and we doubt what He says because of our own understanding we are essentially calling God a liar. We would never directly call God a liar but what else can we call it when we don’t believe what He has said?
Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” the word translated “substance” in the greek has the idea of bringing something into being... perhaps a better word would be substantiating. What that scripture is saying is that our faith in what God has promised is what, in fact, brings these promises into our reality. Even better than that it is our faith in what God had said that pleases Him. After all what is the point of being able to move mountains if you are not pleasing God in the process.