update

So I’m getting to a point where I really need to decide whether or not I’m going to be continuing this blog. I've not really done much with it and I don't know if I’m going to. I was thinking about just having it become an update log for the ministry now that that's up and running but I’m not too sure. I'd also like to finish up this series on the kingdom of God just for the fun of it although I’m also learning it's hard to write about something you aren't really studying or seeking direct revelation on. Right now I’m learning about healing and working on implementing it into my daily life. I'd even say I’m more working on just applying what I know already and getting the confidence to just step out and heal someone. By the way; if you are a Christian and sick, go take communion and it'll make you all better. Works better than medicine and is a lot cheaper than a trip to the Dr.'s.

So as far as the ministry goes we just sent off the money to Nicaragua for the Bibles. Turns out it's cheaper to send money than ship books. Especially when you can send it to a trustworthy source via paypal. We also were able to help a with some money to donate for some friends of ours to go on a couple of missions trips. We are looking forward to hearing about them when they come back. It's really exciting to get to see how much we are able to help already even with the ministry only being around a few months now. I can barely wait to see where it goes from here.

Kingdom Law

Ok so it’s been a while since I’ve posted but I think I’m allowed since nobody is really reading this blog yet lol. My wife and I have been busy busy working on getting the ministry going and our room rearranged. Yay for moving furniture! Anyhow here are some more thoughts on the kingdom I’ve been chewing on:

Matt 5:17-20 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

First of all Jesus is not saying that Christians are under the law. What He is saying is that the law is good and will always be the standard this side of eternity. He is also saying that He is going to fulfill the law, ergo if you are a Christian (in Christ) the law is fulfilled in you furthermore you are dead and not bound by it. Up until the time of His sacrifice and resurrection the law was still something everyone had to abide by. Christ understood however that the law was in itself unable to bring the perfection God required because it was unable to change the hearts of people. This is why there is still something more required.

“For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Now I used to think Jesus was here referring to the imbued righteousness we get when we become Christians. This is not what He is referring too. After this section of scripture He goes on to elaborate on the righteousness He is referring to (Matt 5:21-48). It is a righteousness beginning in our heart and not merely of our actions. This is why mere adherence to the law is never enough and we must be completely recreated. Like it or not we, in our unregenerate state, will always fall short in our thoughts and heart regardless of what our actions truly are.

To sum up: in order to enter the kingdom of heaven (i.e. kingdom of God; same thing) we must not only be obedient to the law in our actions but in our heart and desires also. Anything less than this is falling short of the true intent of God’s law (i.e. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,' and 'your neighbor as yourself.)

Ministry Update

So my wife and I went to the bank this weekend and opened up our checking account for the ministry! We are way excited to see where God takes us as we take the baby steps of getting the practical side of the ministry up and running.

We are also working on getting 100 Spanish Bibles for our friends in Nicaragua by Nov. 28^th. We have seen a major need for them there especially since there is revival beginning to break out there. Can’t wait to help sow into that…

lifespan of revival

this is a post i mad on a forum for of a friend after a short conversation i had with him... maybe it is something you would care to chime in on... here's the link for the forum post: http://theos.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=63&t=3431

Now, if I understand Steve’s position correctly and please correct me if I’m wrong, he feels that revival must end because if we were in a constant state of revival there would be no need for faith or perhaps not as much of an opportunity for faith as there is when there is no revival going on. Now this has to happen every generation or so to give the church a sort of spiritual shot in the arm to give us some life again but then after a while the fervor must die down so that our faith is not in the enthusiasm or miraculous things that come with revival but in God Himself. This has been shown to be true not from the scriptures but from revival history and the conclusions which are drawn from what even a simple study of church history would cause us to deduce.

I feel we should lean less on experience and more on the promises we find in scripture for the standard we should expect out the Christian life:

2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Isaiah 9:7 There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from then on and forevermore the zeal of the LORD of hosts will accomplish this.

Daniel 2:35 Then the iron, the clay, the bronze, the silver and the gold were broken to pieces at the same time and became like chaff on a threshing floor in the summer. The wind swept them away without leaving a trace. But the rock that struck the statue became a huge mountain and filled the whole earth.

Notice these all show constant growth not growth and death and growth or growth, stagnation, growth.

On the personal side of things what does the Bible say is the destiny of the believer? Is it to be revival then discipline?

Rom8:29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren

So the Bible says that we are to be made like Christ… having read about His life once or twice I can’t say I can find a time when He was not bringing revival with Him. If that is therefore not what we are seeing in our lives maybe we are not living up to the standard of scripture but instead being conformed to this world...

This then begs the question; why do we not see revivals last beyond the first generation? I think in order to answer that we have to look more to who we are than who God is. We find it east to trust in God in times of lack and times of trouble but we soon forget God in times of blessing and abundance. Paul said “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13) and because of his reliance on Christ in both “humble means” and “prosperity” Paul too was blessed with revival all the days of his life.

I think the most obvious example of revival and destruction from revival would have to be that of David and Solomon. Solomon, came into great abundance and blessing from what his father David had done in his life and in spite of being blessed with wisdom beyond any other he became enthralled with His blessings. This caused not only the end of the revival but the splitting of the kingdom and countless forms of occult being brought in to Israel. Solomon abandoned God and trusted in himself and his wisdom for the prosperity of his kingdom and the glory God had given it faded just as the revivals in history have after people begin to follow the structure and tradition instead of the God those who began the revival followed.

Now obviously this is way oversimplified but maybe something to get some gears spinning and perhaps start a few conversations about it and what we can do to see another move of God here and now!!!

Mark 1:15 "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."

John and Nic

Ok so I‘ve decided to go ahead and do a little write-up on the time Jesus spent with Nicodemus and contrast that with the teachings of John the Baptist because Jesus, while speaking with Nic, made it clear that being “born again” was the first requirement to seeing the kingdom of God.

He tried to explain that it is not merely the Jesus had to make it clear that being born of flesh is not enough to be called a child of God. Even if you are a descendant of Abraham which Nic was. Physical birth does not equate to a spiritual birth. You are still spiritually dead until you are born of the Sprit. Nic couldn't understand what Jesus was tying to tell him even though Nic was a “teacher of Israel.” Jesus then made it clear that “we speak of what we know” and Nic couldn't understand because although he had theological training, had no genuine experience with the Spirit or heaven. Jesus then goes on to explain where He had received His authority to teach (John 3:13 No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.) Think about it, in order to ascend you must first descend so Jesus just told Nic that not only was He from heaven but He had also gone back up to heaven since coming down! On a side note; that was essentially an open invitation to go to heaven while we are still here on earth!!!

Now lets contrast that with the teachings of John the Baptist: when his ministry was waning he maid it clear that “a man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.” This already shows John's wisdom and understanding of the kingdom above and beyond what is naturally discerned. He had no desire to build his own ministry only to fulfill his calling. He then goes on to share the truths which answered the questions Jesus was attempting to lead Nic too.

John 3:31-36 "He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth He who comes from heaven is above all. What He has seen and heard, of that He testifies; and no one receives His testimony. He who has received His testimony has set his seal to this, that God is true. For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for He gives the Spirit without measure. The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hand. He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

It's a beautiful picture the author John paints for us denoting the difference and importance of the proper source for our learning and that all the book learning in the world is worthless without the aid of the Spirit of God. More important than that however is that Christ who is from heaven is “above all” and that He “gives the Spirit without measure!!!!” read over it one more time and chew on it cause it's soooo good. Focus on all the times he says “all” and the message John istrying to get across. If jesus is above all then that means there is nothing He is not above! Duh, but how often do we live as though this is not the case.

P.S. He gives the Spirit without measure!!!!

kingdom's entrance

Mark 1:4,5 John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And all the country of Judea was going out to him, and all the people of Jerusalem; and they were being baptized by him in the Jordan River, confessing their sins.

v.9 In those days Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan .

v.14,15 Now after John had been taken into custody, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."

Just a couple of things I need to point out:

1. If we desire to enter into the kingdom we must do it the same way everyone has from the time of John’s proclamation of the coming kingdom to the time Jesus said it was here; repentance.

This isn’t just me saying, “oh God I’m sorry I was wrong please forgive me. ” It is a complete renunciation of my old way of life and submission to the reign of the King. John makes this very clear when he tells the Pharisees “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.” (Matt 3:8,9)

If we do not produce this “fruit” we have good reason to doubt the validity of our religious experience. Even Jesus came into the kingdom through this “baptism.” If even Jesus had to enter in this way what makes us think we can do it any other way?

After Jesus' baptism He Began to preach; not about salvation as we so often do today but about the arrival of the kingdom. This was the good news or “gospel” which Jesus taught! This was the message of Jesus and the early church. I'm sure a greater knowledge of revival history would show that it was also the message which was brought to truly change the lives and impact the world around the saints.

Good Gospel

In order to see our prayers answered we must pray with faith. in order to pray with faith we need a foundation for that faith; a promise of God or an understanding that what we are praying for is in His will. This is were most of us stumble. So in thinking about and discussing some of the promises of God and what we can expect as children of the king I've come to understand that many people either don’t understand or limit the goodness of God. We think in our minds that what the gospel actually says is too good to be true so we push it out to the future or to heaven not ever expecting that God love us and desires the best for us now and not just in heaven. The fact of the mater is that most of what Christ preached about was the Kingdom and the message of the Gospel is not merely about salvation from hell or even being “born again.” The point of the gospel was that God desires to bring heaven to earth. Go back and re-read The Lords Prayer or recite it to yourself and think as you do, “what if Christ was serious and wanted us to treat this as a literal prayer we were honestly to expect God to answer?”

Over the next few weeks I will be going through the teachings of Christ in the Gospels in an attempt to show just how good these promises are.

Consecration; not my problem

Ok so I’m way over caffeinated right now thanks to the coffee lady here at work giving me some extra shots of espresso for no apparent reason… (I’m not complaining lol) but yeah so I was thinking about my sanctification process and how it’s been going and I realized how much easier it is than I had ever before thought.

So here are my thoughts on it:

When we are trying to live a holy life it is us vs. us. So it’s the new us fighting against our old habits and our old ways of thinking/doing things.

As Christians we know what it is we are supposed to do and what it is we are supposed to want but when that doesn’t line up with what we really want or really want to do we have conflict within ourselves. Since we are exactly as strong as ourselves we could only win this internal battle, at best, about 50% of the time.

Now, we have outside influences of society, peer pressure, angelic, demonic and so on which all seek to influence us in one direction or another but ultimately we can only blame ourselves because our actions are our own.

So how does one go about aligning their life so that they are constantly winning the battle against themselves? Simple; you ask God to change your desires. Ask Him to align your heart with His. Then you no longer need to fight your desires because your desires are already that which is good and right. I do this and suddenly I’m no longer in a battle I can win only half the time. I’m no longer in any sort of battle for that matter.

I know this is not as epic as fighting your way through a monumental battle and coming out (potentially) victorious but I’d much rather have the guaranteed victory which I can take no credit for than the loss which I must claim full responsibility.

Holy Desire

1 Cor. 14:1 Pursue love, yet desire earnestly spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.

When I Had first returned to the Lord I went on a winter retreat with my church. it was a lot of fun, on the bus ride up we were all talking with each other about what we were hoping God would share with us and speak to us about. I was blessed that trip and I got to see God in action. The minister who was speaking that weekend was heavily gifted in the prophetic. Without fail he went to every person and told them God’s perspective on exactly what they had been talking about on the bus ride up. It was amazing to me. I remember thinking, “Why is this something I've never seen in action before? Why don’t we do this every day at church an not just here?” It was then and there I began to seek God for the gift of prophecy. I’d get to see it in bits and pieces here and there but never on the level that I was seeking after and to be honest I had just about all but given up.

I began thinking, well maybe God wants to bless me in another area and that was just what He used to get me excited about my faith and help to get me close to Him. Fast forward a few years and I’ve finally come to see how ignorant of a view that is. God does not trifle with His children! When you have a desire for a spiritual blessing, especially one which you are commanded to seek after in scripture, you can be sure it is the Spirit of God stirring it up inside of you. How often, after all, when left to our own devices do we desire what is good? We either lust after the things of the flesh or the things of the Spirit. When Holy Spirit excites us desire His gifting or any blessing for that matter we can be sure it will be given to us and we are bound by obedience to pursue and seek after that blessing until God, who is a good God, gives it to us. after all, it was His idea to give it to us in the first place.

The Promise & The Prayer

Daniel 9:2,3 “In the first year of his reign I Daniel understood by books the number of the years, whereof the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah the prophet, that he would accomplish seventy years in the desolations of Jerusalem. And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes.”

For the longest time I was under the impression that once a thing was prophesied, that was it, it was done. I then began to wonder why I was seeing so many people with promises over their lives that were seemingly going nowhere. Promises that had been given to them years ago; just sitting there, dormant. I’ve seen people grow bitter toward God or confused thinking why hasn’t this come to pass. Maybe the word was wrong or, even worse, maybe there is no such thing as prophecy today. These people, myself included, were part of the unfortunate group of people perishing for lack of knowledge. You see just because God has declared something doesn’t mean He has taken our responsibility out of it. Remember, we are the ones He has given authority to (Psalm 115:16 “The heavens are the heavens of the LORD, But the earth He has given to the sons of men.”) and therefore He will not do anything unless we come into agreement with it through prayer. Daniel understood this which is why when he read a promise from the scriptures about the end of the desolations of Jerusalem he began to pray and seek God to see it through. This was not just some word given by a random prophet or someone from his local church they were the words of Jeremiah understood to be scripture; i.e. their Bible. so these words were known as authoritative words from God but Daniel still felt the need to pray that God would bring them to pass. If even the prophecies of scripture need to be prayed into being how much more should we be praying for the promises God has given us?
What are you waiting for? Break out the prophecies that have been given to you and read the promises you have written down. Pray to God until He gives you the release and says it will be done. If you don’t yet have any promises of your own go to your Bible and read until one jumps out at you and take that as your own. Seek the Lord for His blessing because He has promised it and is faithful.

the true call

Mark 1:17-20 And Jesus said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. Going on a little farther, He saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, who were also in the boat mending the nets. Immediately He called them; and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants, and went away to follow Him.

These passages are in a stark contrast to what happens later in the ministry of Jesus once He has gained some popularity. People begin asking Him if they could follow Him (Luke 9:57-62) with a very different result. They were not turned down as much as shown where their hearts where not yet ready for the call to follow Christ. When your heart is not ready or, to put it another way, when you say, “I will follow you… but first” then you already prove you are not truly following Christ but your own path which you have decided would be good alongside the path Christ is on. You see you are still your own boss when you come to Christ with stipulations. Christ will have all or none of you. There is no in between for Him. Are you holding back? What have you told Christ you must do before you are ready to follow Him? It is that very thing which is keeping you back from the kingdom of God.

Ambition

So today I was talking to Jesus. Just trying to get to know Him better; on a more personal level. I was chatting with Him and He asked me why I wanted to know Him more. My honest answer was because I want to be a more effective minister. Not for greater intimacy or my love for Him. Now at first I was rather upset with myself because it was such a seemingly cold answer but as I was telling my wife about it I realized that’s kind of how I am. I tend to be very practical in my affection, not so much emotional. It’s my family’s fault really. love has always been shown for me by providing or “doing” for one another. my family was never too big on emotional support and I guess it’s carried over into my relationship with God. So I asked Him if this was ok or if I was wasting my time because my heart was wrong. He reminded me about what He’s been teaching me “that He wants me to love people with the love He deserves.” So long as I am doing that I am fine.

Being the stubborn person I am that wasn’t quite enough. I kept thinking about the scripture where Paul was writing and made some reference about “running in vain” so I had to look it up. The chapter really had nothing to do with Paul being worried about himself rather he was expressing concern for the Philippians and whether or not he had wasted his time bringing the gospel to them. There is however right before that portion of scripture which talks about Christ and His equality with God and how He gave that up to become a man and a servant and in doing that God then exalted His name above every other name. This then inspired me and reminded me that every time the disciples asked Jesus who would be the greatest in the kingdom Jesus would tell them what they had to do to become the greatest. He would actually encourage their ambition. He said to be the greatest you have to be slave to all. So the way I see it... Christ is not concerned about my ambition to “do” for Him as long as I understand that the actions He values are my lifting up others above myself and seeking to serve and benefit them and loving them as I would love Him.

faith... first steps

Lord I repent for my unbelief... my lack of faith which has shown up time and again. Even when I see God working miracles right before my eyes I find that doubt can slip in. Did you know that you can have doubt even as you see a tumor melting away... it’s true. I know this because it’s happened to me... seeing is not believing. Believing is believing; and unfortunately in the Christian faith we must often believe before we are allowed to see.
At some point we must decide what we are going to believe. What will we use to decide what “truth” we will live by? Do we rely on our own knowledge apart from God or do we trust His word and the promises He has given us. Remember that He is all powerful and cannot lie. When we know what it is He has promised and we doubt what He says because of our own understanding we are essentially calling God a liar. We would never directly call God a liar but what else can we call it when we don’t believe what He has said?
Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” the word translated “substance” in the greek has the idea of bringing something into being... perhaps a better word would be substantiating. What that scripture is saying is that our faith in what God has promised is what, in fact, brings these promises into our reality. Even better than that it is our faith in what God had said that pleases Him. After all what is the point of being able to move mountains if you are not pleasing God in the process.

Mary Jesus and the atonement

I just wrote this for a forum regarding the necessity of the virgin birth and how that all works for our redemption to see the topic in full go to http://theos.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3083&st=0&sk=t&sd=a


Lets do a little bible study to find out what “man“ is in order to find out who Christ had to be in order to be “a high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.” (Heb. 4:15)

In the beginning… (wish I could do Star Wars style scrolling)
Gen. 2:7: And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
You see the creation of man comes in 3 parts.
1 - man’s body from the dust (the part that relates to the natural world).
2- the breath of life a.k.a. the man’s spirit (the part of man that relates to the spiritual world and God)
3- the man’s soul. This part is not formed until the sprit enters the body. It is the seat of the will and our personality. This is why throughout scripture we are referred to as souls.

Adam and Eve in their pre-fallen state were the only people who we can say had a truly “free will” because they were undefiled by the sin nature because their souls were truly free to choose to obey God or not (they were not yet “slaves to sin” Rom 6:6).

Lets now look at what they chose in tree of the knowledge of good and evil and why that was such a “bad” fruit to eat.

Gen 3:4,5 The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Man was already like God, being created “in His image” (Gen. 1:26,27) so what was it that would change? The change was that we would now have a sense of good and evil apart from what God says is “good” or “evil.” We would be independently moral creatures whereas before we were amoral because we relied completely on God to tell us what was right or wrong.

This brings us to Gen 3:6 where we see temptation in all 3 of its forms (lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life) first become sin.
“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, (lust of the flesh) and that it was pleasant to the eyes, (lust of the eyes) and a tree to be desired to make one wise, (pride of life) she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat (sin), and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat (sin).”

Now Eve was in fact deceived but it is never Eve who is blamed for sin entering the world; it is always Adam. Why? Because he was her husband and therefore the one ultimately responsible for their family (Eph. 5:23, 1 Cor. 11:3). Therefore it was Adam’s sin, not Eve’s, that was passed down and Adam who is responsible death entering into the world (Rom. 5:12-19).

This is how we have “sin” (as in our sin nature) because we are all Adam’s seed. This sin nature causes us to desire sins.

(If I’ve skipped over something important to you let me know… I’m trying not to write a book here)

Now, on to Jesus. Yay!

Why was it necessary for Him to be born of a virgin? It was necessary so that He would not be of Adam’s seed and therefore not tainted by Adam’s transgression. This is why Jesus is called the last Adam (1 Cor. 15:45).

Now we go back to the 3 parts of a man (Spirit, soul, body) and how they come together to form Jesus.
1- Mary provides the “dirt,” so to speak, in her egg. This then becomes His body.
2- Holy Spirit gives it the “breath of life” this is why the Bible says “before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.” (Matt 1:18)
3- Then like we learned earlier once the spirit entered the body “He became a living soul”.

This makes Jesus a man just as Adam and Eve were before the fall. An amoral being the Son of man, the last Adam and finally the second man, from heaven (1 Cor. 15:47). Jesus did not have to have the “sin nature” passed down from Adam in order to be a “man” only the three parts of “man,” sprit, soul and body. Because Jesus was a free moral being He had the chance to succeed where Adam failed in living a holy life unto God without sin.

Once Jesus was baptized and Holy Spirit came upon Him (Matt 3:16…) He was brought out to be tempted:
Matt. 4:3 And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread." (lust of the flesh)

Matt. 4:5,6 Then the devil took Him into the holy city and had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for it is written, 'HE WILL COMMAND HIS ANGELS CONCERNING YOU'; and 'ON their HANDS THEY WILL BEAR YOU UP, SO THAT YOU WILL NOT STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.'" (pride of life)

Matt 4:8,9 Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory; and he said to Him, "All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me." (lust of the eyes)

Jesus went through all this and much more I’m sure especially when the devil returned… but the important thing to know is that He did not fall into sin during these temptations.

Now for the million dollar question… how does that apply to me since I am of Adam’s seed and do have a sin nature?

The truth is that your sin nature cannot be fixed or polished up. There is no remedy for a sin nature. If there was there would be no need for the cross. Praise be to God He has found a solution… He kills us. More specifically He crucifies us with Christ (Gal 2:20) and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.

We are no longer that old person from Adam’s seed. That man is DEAD. He no longer exists. Or as the Bible puts it: Rom. 8:10,11 If Christ is in you, though THE BODY IS DEAD because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead WILL ALSO GIVE LIFE TO YOUR MORTAL BODIES THROUGH HIS SPIRIT who dwells in you.

Or to put it another way
2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW CREATION; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

You are no longer of the race from Adam but made one with Christ Jesus free of sin and the sin nature.

narcissism could be fun…

So I saw the commercial for iron man 2 and I was thinking about how stark reads that he is a textbook narcissist and he says, “true.” So that got me thinking about how I’d love to be narcissistic. Just thinking how great I am all the time. It would really be a great self promotion tool. I could see how I could easily convince myself of anything and then I’d have no limitations because let’s face it, we tend to be the ones who limit ourselves more than anyone else… but at some point for me it would have to break down because I’m not truly narcissistic and it would only be me pretending like I’m the greatest ever because it gets me a desired end. It’s a much better form of self protection than being shy or degrading yourself so you don’t let yourself down when you fail. But nevertheless it’s still a form of hiding and trying to guard oneself from pain.

One way you make yourself big and strong to intimidate others so you don’t have to feel intimidated or small so you are protected because of your superiority and the other you are small in insignificant so you don’t have to step out and risk getting hurt. I guess in the end it doesn’t really matter I don’t have the energy to puff myself up all the time. It was a fun thought though…

what fight?

I was listening to a sermon by Chip Ingram the other day and he was talking about some early Christians and how they were killed by having animal skins tied to them then they were put in the coliseums and fed to wild animals. He talked about the records of such Christians going into the coliseums singing praises to God until they were killed. This kind of devotion is something almost unheard of here in western Christianity. The issue I believe is that there is no enemy to fight here. At that time it was a complete matter of life or death to become a Christian. Here was can say yeah I like Christianity and what it stands for or whatever and yay I’m a Christian now. There is no real cost or commitment needed for a “decision” to serve Christ.

Now I’m in now way saying that it’s better for it to be a matter of life and death, I’m merely stating that there is a problem with how shallow our commitment is. The hardest thing, the way I see it, is that we are not able to identify a clear enemy or struggle. It’s easy to prepare for a fight when you know your enemy. If I were an MMA fighter for instance, I’d be able to watch videos and learn his tactics and I’d be able to train accordingly. The way it is now… I can’t see an enemy; in fact there may not even be an enemy other than myself or my apathy. So I’m stuck fighting myself… that’s not nearly as clear or simple as seeing an enemy we can prepare a fight against. How do you go about defeating yourself? Can you overcome yourself if you are focused on yourself or can you remain focused on God when there is no clear fight and so much to distract or sidetrack? How do you take the battle to yourself?

temptation

So there’s not been a whole bunch to write about lately; or so I thought. I was struggling with some temptations I haven’t had since I was in the world and doing drugs… that was strange to me. Come to think of it, this was the same thing that happened to me last time I started pressing in to God through prayer like this… and now that I am writing about this I am reminded of Teresa’s warning that there are many reptiles in the first or outermost mansions. She warns that if we are to make it to the sanctuary where the Lord is we must put everything aside and focus solely on Him or we will get caught up in snares or traps set for us (which I managed to do last time…). Anyhow, so here I am pressing on. Then a couple nights ago I had an all new problem; I was worried that Christ was not the only way to The Father and that maybe there were other religions that were right also. After all I thought, aren’t there mystics in other religions also? So I was all messed up for a bit and I got this book by John Piper (God is so good for this) called “50 reasons why Jesus came to die.” It’s free right now (a price I can afford lol) on Christianaudio.com you should go there and get it. But yeah so I was listening to it and it is just so good and God is so good for making sure that I did not go down that path any further.
My prayer life itself has been kinda strange. I had a day or two where I was not feeling God at all while I prayed. Then I was worshiping one day cause I got sick of not feeling God and what do you know; He showed up. Silly me forgetting to glorify God as He deserves. Anyhow, so my prayer times since then have been beautiful and I’ve been seeing my virtue rising as I’ve been praying more. It’s funny because the little things I used to struggle with, not even struggle with but that were minor temptations, are no longer a problem for me. It’s funny it’s like I lost my taste for them… there is just no appeal there any more. This is happening even though my prayer time really doesn’t seem like I’m doing much. I mean that there are no heavy experiences or any trances, visions or anything like that just time in God’s presence and glory. It’s exciting to see how much such a short bit of time and effort on my part is helping me in so many different ways. I’m excited to see where God takes this.

focus...

So a few things that come up since I began seeking to understand more the prayer recollection. I found a really good website that lays out a pretty clearly what is required for the prayer of recollection. First of all sins of their two parts of the prayer known as prayer recollection one which we do on one which God does. They’re both the same thing and the one that we do leads to the other. Essentially it seems what we need to be doing is focusing on his presence so we feel it and really kind of letting go of everything else. Then as we begin to appreciate the pleasures… I can’t even concentrate right now… as we concentrate on the pleasure he gives us and focus on what he’s doing in us we become more immersed in it. The article I read was helpful in many ways. Especially at the end when he gave us a warning about those of us who desire contemplation and, “consult men, and the writings of men; yet do not apply to him who in one moment can give light to the humble soul, teaching it without sound of words, and imparting more in one single prayer of contemplation then could be obtained in years from the most spiritual man.” it really challenged me to stop my reading and begin my praying…

volitional prayer

when reading Teresa of Avila’s book “The Way of Perfection” I’ve come to understand that what is known as the prayer of recollection is actually a volitional state. Now what the prayer of recollection is, is when all of your senses and faculties are focused on Holy Spirit inside of you, more properly God in you. So essentially what this does is it cuts off your understanding and distraction from the outside world. This enables you to be completely focused on God when you pray. This is something I’d never realized so now in my prayer times when I begin feeling God’s Spirit I immediately focus on Him in sort of lean into Him. This causes me to have what I can only describe as a falling feeling. Every time I begin having this it causes me to kind of freak out and I lose my focus on God and I have to start all over. I vaguely remember reading about this in her other book “Interior Castle.” And she warned that as we were getting used to this feeling it would be scary. Now I know that should probably go without saying; how could it not be scary having your senses lose focus on the outside world but I’m glad she warned us about it anyhow. There was one thing she said I really appreciated, she said that what we are learning here in this state is how to give our soul control over our faculties. I can see why this would have to be the first stage in contemplative prayer.

All this being said does anybody else out there have any experience in this and if so how did they go about mastering this type of prayer?

wine and dine lol

No idea what happened I was the middle good spiel and my word processor decided to quit on me. So I was debating whether or not it would be a lack of humility to press in for more of God you see Teresa of Avila had made a comment of how we should not expect for God to do anything we pray, not that we shouldn’t expect Him to do anything, but that we shouldn’t expect that we deserve anything. I was then thinking, well then where does pressing in or asking, seeking, knocking come in. So I think I've decided there is a difference between seeking something from God and seeking God Himself. God has told us time and again to seek for things from him. I think that when we are seeking God Himself the most we should do is make ourselves available to Him and let Him initiate the encounters we have with Him. And when He trusts us He will bring us into His wine cellar. (see song of songs 2:4; that’s right to word there is “wine cellar” not “banquet hall” for some reason the word which is translated 139 times as “wine” is in this verse alone translated “banquet” it’s whatever I guess as long as you understand that you are going there to party with Him and get drunk. But God definitely has to be the one who put you there. The more risqué encounters that we have with God are ones that He has to initiate. so pursue your Bridegroom be love sick for Him let Him be your sole hearts desire and He will decide when you are ready to enter into His pleasures. As for seeking good things from Him I get the feeling that doesn’t take nearly as much faith. It seems to me that He is all too willing to shower us with blessings or whatever needs you may have but don’t expect Him to bring into the bridal chambers before He knows that He has your full heart.

coffee and headaches

So today when I was at work I had this awesome opportunity to pray for the lady who works the coffee cart. She told me that she had a migraine and it was hurting her really bad. I totally chickened out and walked away happy with my coffee. It’s rather frustrating to me knowing what God is capable of and knowing what I’ve seen him do right in front of my eyes and through my hands. I don’t know why there’s such a huge difference in my mind when I’m out on the mission field as opposed to my everyday life. It seems like lately I’ve been having one opportunity after the other to pray for those in need of healing. No matter where I go it keeps getting thrown in my face. I really need to learn not to put so much pressure on myself. My wife had a great suggestion that instead of just asking someone if they need prayer and making a kind of an awkward thing that I could just ask them along with a few other things I could do in the natural. So for example if the coffee ladies headache I could ask her “could I get you some aspirin, water or perhaps pray for you?” That way if prayer something that she would like, she could ask me for it. This way no pressure on me but the option is still out there. I know that eventually I will have to get a point where I can offer prayer for somebody without hesitation or trying to mask it behind something else but I think for now these baby steps are important after all you have to begin somewhere.

God Inside

So not that it matters quite yet since I really don’t have anyone is listening, or reading rather, but the other day I wrote a blog about some issues I had with another religion. I decided I would take that blog down because it does not reflect what I want this blog to be about. My thoughts on other religions are not relevant to my prayer life.

So yesterday during worship was trying to think of God in front of me like I usually do but was unable to. Instead I had this understanding that He was inside of me. I couldn’t picture Him there I just knew that’s where He was. it was quite exciting. I feel that it is the next step that I have been looking for. Or at least the beginning of it. I’m finding myself coming to a much better understanding of God inside of me. I suppose I shouldn’t even say a much better understanding perhaps I should say that I’m coming to the realization of it. So what is the significance of this? I know that every Christian has God in them, but most of us seem quite unaware of it. Understanding that He is inside of you I feel is one of the first steps that we take in the understanding of our union with Him. As we begin understand that He is inside of us and dwelling with us we also begin to understand that the kingdom of heaven is inside of us and with that of course comes all His glory, power, and majesty. Think about it, if the God who created the universe is inside of us, in his fullness I might add , what sort of limitations could possibly restrain us.

It’s been rather amazing to me to see the change that has come since I devoted myself more fully to the Lord. I’ve been finding His Spirit has been on me in a much thicker way. It’s been very exciting and definitely worth everything that I’ve given up. To be honest I wish I had given it up sooner or maybe that I had more that I could give. That sounds way cheesy or perhaps rather cliché but that’s the way I feel lame as it may be.

tornado rebuked

this is just so awesome you have to watch it... it's only 1min 40sec... God is good!!!!
http://www.xpmedia.com/NO5PfMiJfRFZ

Repentance

Father God; first and foremost I want to apologize for having strayed as far as I had after the consolation You had given me when I was struggling with my addiction. You came to me and after I chose to continue on as I had been and made no effort to change or to seek you in a greater way. You had invited me in to intimacy with Yourself and I didn’t see it as anything but a cool experience. I see now that You were showing me how to avoid such longings and cravings as I was having and it is through union with You. Lord I ask for You to come to me once again as You had. Not that I deserve it but that I would like to make it right. I would like the opportunity to remain that close to You and continue in our relationship from that point. Regardless I know You are good and will continue to seek You until we are unified as we were and greater if you will allow it.

It can be hard when, as we grow, we come to understand that experiences of our past, had we handled them differently, could have propelled us much further in our lives with the Lord than what they did. I had an experience one night a few years back where the Lord came to my aid while I was going through some pretty bad withdrawals and the experience was so powerful that many times when my faith has waned or I was unsure of God that I was able to turn back to it and remember how He showed up and I could no longer doubt my faith or my Lord. Now as great as that is, I should have used it as an opportunity to surrender myself completely into the arms of my God who had shown Himself faithful and loving. I believe had I done this and continued seeking that intimacy there I would be in a completely different place than I am now.
Fortunately we serve a God of mercy who knows we are dust, and He is patient and gracious to us. So I have repented and am now seeking once again to know that kind of intimacy with Him. It is very comforting knowing that I may be humble and not expect anything from Him in prayer and at the same time trust completely in His goodness knowing that He will see to it that what is best for me in my times with Him will be done.

next step

So all yesterday I spent in prayer (minus about 3 hours I managed to get sidetracked…) seeking God’s desire for my wife and I and where we should go once our lease is up here. Should we go to Redding for the school of ministry there or should we remain here and allow God to continue moving as He has? He didn’t really give me a response… and I was beginning to think it may be one of those things He really doesn’t care about. Not that He doesn’t care as much as He is going to do what He’s going to with us regardless of where we are. I kept thinking about Paul also and how he spoke of his training from Christ directly and how he didn’t need to confer with the other apostles. I really get the feeling that God is just going to let me make the choice (giving me responsibility… ha!) I tell you it is a lot easier when He just tells you what to do.

My wife was praying today asking God about a country to have a burden for that we can begin some missionary trips to and join with a group that is there on a permanent basis so we can come alongside them. God told her “Didn’t I tell you I’d send you to the NATIONS?” lol just wanted to brag on my wife a bit. She is being taught right now to think bigger than she currently does. It’s exciting to watch her growth process also.

So in my reading yesterday I was reminded that we often think of great things we wish to do for God. And that if we focus on those at the cost of the small things we are able to do right now we will only be losing out on what God truly wants from us. Instead we should “set out hand to the work which lies nearest to us,” and that we make the mistake of not serving our Lord in the ways within our power and “rest content with having desired the impossible.” This is a hard revelation to take in especially with work and those who I should be showing love to but instead I neglect and ignore… that being said it is only in starting with this foundation that we will be considered worthy to do those more grand things which are in our hearts.

Way to Perfection

As I search for perfection and unity with God I figured it might be helpful to others to be able to follow along with me. I’ve been reading Teresa of Avila’s “Interior Castle” and just begun on “The Way of Perfection” it’s interesting trying to sift between what is helpful to me and what things she speaks of that I see as truth for her but since I am neither a nun nor single I can not apply to my life or must modify to fit the life of a working, married, Christian man.
I have been seeking first and foremost to align my will with that of God. Since this seems to be foundational to all that she teaches. This has included my quitting my video game which I was addicted to lol. Shameful I know… but considering the things I was addicted to before, video games it wasn’t high on my priority list.
Last week I was in Redding visiting Bethel church there and during the worship my sinfulness was made all to clear to me and I was disgusted with myself. As hard as I tried I found myself helpless to fight my desires and wound up crying and broken. It was then and there I decided I would do whatever it took to be perfect before God. Holy Spirit has been telling me for a long time now that I needed to quit that video game so I gave it to Him.
Some of the things I’m chewing on lately… in her book “The Way of Perfection” Teresa makes it clear that seeking affection is bad because it is always for our own personal gain or affirmation anyhow (i.e. it’s for selfish purposes) and that we should only seek those people who can be of assistance to us in a spiritual way. Anything else would be fleeting anyhow. She goes on to say that those who do not require the affection of others are then free to love others as Christ did without any selfishness and therefore are able to love in a more pure way.
This has a great ring of truth in it but how then does that apply to me as a married man who admittedly wants his wife to love him? Or is it possible to love her regardless of how she feels about me? I suppose this is what I should be striving for anyhow and I honestly could have this kind of love no problem with every other relationship I have except that of my wife right now.
On to the subject of prayer, I have not spent as much time as I’d like in prayer and I do intend that this blog will be a journal of my experiences in prayer (my ultimate goal is entering that innermost mansion she speaks of and experiencing the union with Christ) but for now perhaps I will just give an account of my current prayer status. When I pray I can’t help but be overcome with pleasure… I don’t know how else to describe it but a tingling in my spine and temples that permeates through my body. The longer I think about Christ the stronger it gets. I’m still finding myself easily distracted though. These feelings will also come on at various times throughout the day either when, like now, I am thinking about Holy Spirit or prayer or Christ or His cross, during communion or any other of a wide array of spiritual activities. This helps me to feel a great sense of peace but it also quickly goes away the minute I am cut-off while driving or when I’m distracted for whatever reason…