temptation

So there’s not been a whole bunch to write about lately; or so I thought. I was struggling with some temptations I haven’t had since I was in the world and doing drugs… that was strange to me. Come to think of it, this was the same thing that happened to me last time I started pressing in to God through prayer like this… and now that I am writing about this I am reminded of Teresa’s warning that there are many reptiles in the first or outermost mansions. She warns that if we are to make it to the sanctuary where the Lord is we must put everything aside and focus solely on Him or we will get caught up in snares or traps set for us (which I managed to do last time…). Anyhow, so here I am pressing on. Then a couple nights ago I had an all new problem; I was worried that Christ was not the only way to The Father and that maybe there were other religions that were right also. After all I thought, aren’t there mystics in other religions also? So I was all messed up for a bit and I got this book by John Piper (God is so good for this) called “50 reasons why Jesus came to die.” It’s free right now (a price I can afford lol) on Christianaudio.com you should go there and get it. But yeah so I was listening to it and it is just so good and God is so good for making sure that I did not go down that path any further.
My prayer life itself has been kinda strange. I had a day or two where I was not feeling God at all while I prayed. Then I was worshiping one day cause I got sick of not feeling God and what do you know; He showed up. Silly me forgetting to glorify God as He deserves. Anyhow, so my prayer times since then have been beautiful and I’ve been seeing my virtue rising as I’ve been praying more. It’s funny because the little things I used to struggle with, not even struggle with but that were minor temptations, are no longer a problem for me. It’s funny it’s like I lost my taste for them… there is just no appeal there any more. This is happening even though my prayer time really doesn’t seem like I’m doing much. I mean that there are no heavy experiences or any trances, visions or anything like that just time in God’s presence and glory. It’s exciting to see how much such a short bit of time and effort on my part is helping me in so many different ways. I’m excited to see where God takes this.

God Inside

So not that it matters quite yet since I really don’t have anyone is listening, or reading rather, but the other day I wrote a blog about some issues I had with another religion. I decided I would take that blog down because it does not reflect what I want this blog to be about. My thoughts on other religions are not relevant to my prayer life.

So yesterday during worship was trying to think of God in front of me like I usually do but was unable to. Instead I had this understanding that He was inside of me. I couldn’t picture Him there I just knew that’s where He was. it was quite exciting. I feel that it is the next step that I have been looking for. Or at least the beginning of it. I’m finding myself coming to a much better understanding of God inside of me. I suppose I shouldn’t even say a much better understanding perhaps I should say that I’m coming to the realization of it. So what is the significance of this? I know that every Christian has God in them, but most of us seem quite unaware of it. Understanding that He is inside of you I feel is one of the first steps that we take in the understanding of our union with Him. As we begin understand that He is inside of us and dwelling with us we also begin to understand that the kingdom of heaven is inside of us and with that of course comes all His glory, power, and majesty. Think about it, if the God who created the universe is inside of us, in his fullness I might add , what sort of limitations could possibly restrain us.

It’s been rather amazing to me to see the change that has come since I devoted myself more fully to the Lord. I’ve been finding His Spirit has been on me in a much thicker way. It’s been very exciting and definitely worth everything that I’ve given up. To be honest I wish I had given it up sooner or maybe that I had more that I could give. That sounds way cheesy or perhaps rather cliché but that’s the way I feel lame as it may be.