Ambition

So today I was talking to Jesus. Just trying to get to know Him better; on a more personal level. I was chatting with Him and He asked me why I wanted to know Him more. My honest answer was because I want to be a more effective minister. Not for greater intimacy or my love for Him. Now at first I was rather upset with myself because it was such a seemingly cold answer but as I was telling my wife about it I realized that’s kind of how I am. I tend to be very practical in my affection, not so much emotional. It’s my family’s fault really. love has always been shown for me by providing or “doing” for one another. my family was never too big on emotional support and I guess it’s carried over into my relationship with God. So I asked Him if this was ok or if I was wasting my time because my heart was wrong. He reminded me about what He’s been teaching me “that He wants me to love people with the love He deserves.” So long as I am doing that I am fine.

Being the stubborn person I am that wasn’t quite enough. I kept thinking about the scripture where Paul was writing and made some reference about “running in vain” so I had to look it up. The chapter really had nothing to do with Paul being worried about himself rather he was expressing concern for the Philippians and whether or not he had wasted his time bringing the gospel to them. There is however right before that portion of scripture which talks about Christ and His equality with God and how He gave that up to become a man and a servant and in doing that God then exalted His name above every other name. This then inspired me and reminded me that every time the disciples asked Jesus who would be the greatest in the kingdom Jesus would tell them what they had to do to become the greatest. He would actually encourage their ambition. He said to be the greatest you have to be slave to all. So the way I see it... Christ is not concerned about my ambition to “do” for Him as long as I understand that the actions He values are my lifting up others above myself and seeking to serve and benefit them and loving them as I would love Him.